Who Earns the Right to Your Story?

In world that wants you to do your best to cover your flaws, do your best to be seen. It is not easy showing up to the world every day, especially when mental illnesses such as depression or anxiety tell you to stay home, nice and safe, in bed. There will come a time in most of your relationships where it will be necessary to open up about your mental illness. How and when and to whom, is really an individual choice. Brene' Brown has a good rule of thumb..."tell your story to those who have EARNED the right to hear your story."
There are people who are close to me that know my whole story from start to finish, and not only know my diagnosis but also know when to alert me to signs that I am heading for a depression or that I am having irrational anxiety. They are also kind in that they let me have my little idiosyncrasies like taking the seat with its back to the door, so I can see the exit. They also know the plan I have in case I ever feel suicidal again and who is in charge of what aspects of my life and care.
There is the second level of people who know parts of my story in a generic sense. They know I have domestic violence in my background. They also know I have PTSD, depression and anxiety. I have given them enough information so they can understand my background some but they don't know all the little details. Also, this group is not involved in my care plan if something were to happen. Could they come visit me if I got hospitalized? I would decide on a person to person basis.
The next level of people simply know I have different diagnoses. They are not privy to any of the details. This is usual people outside my main circle of friends and includes new acquaintances, the pharmacists or old friends that I have been out of touch with for a while. The conversation regarding my mental illness was glancing at best, usually said because there was something in common with what was shared with me. But nothing more. They have not entered into the level of trust to know my story
The last group...They don't know anything. This group includes my ex (believe or not, he feels that there was no violence in our relationship but he has his own mental health issues), people I have just met and anyone I "run into" or do business with. The place where I sell my cards as no need to know my story. We have a business not friendship relationship. The people I have just met haven't been around long enough to put "marbles in the marble jar," as Brene' Brown says in an analogy regarding trust in her "Anatomy of Trust" speech. People EARN the right to hear my story. I don't hand it out to them. There are a few reasons for that.
If I handed my story over to someone I just met, how do I know they are ready for that kind of story? What if they have their own story they are trying to deal with and mine was too much? What if they are careless with my story by handing it out to anyone who will listen like it was gossip and not my life? What if they simply do not want it? I have met these people. They don't want to others stories. They aren't interested. And, you know what, they don't have to be.
So how do you know who is ready to share your story? Ask yourself these questions:
Will they respect my privacy? Will they hold the story in confidence?
Will they still respect me? Honor my needs and boundaries regarding my story?
Are they reliable? Especially true for anyone who is in the inner circle to help with my emergency crisis plan.
Can they sit with me while I am in distress and not try to cover it up and dismiss it? This is a big one for me as when I was growing up, it was always cover it up so the neighbors won't know. I need someone who can sit with me in the dark and not judge me.
Finally, can they empathize, not sympathize with me? Do they understand? I don't want to be felt sorry for or pitied. I want understanding and patience.
What are your requirements for letting someone in on your story? Write a list if you need to so you know what you want from someone who you are willing to share your story with.